US Dollar Purchased by China and Japan

For Immediate Release
Awksedgreep,
The Coordinated Press

In some rather odd news today the US Dollar has been purchased by China and Japan. Now owning 53% of the bonds issued as reserves for the currency. While the new owners have yet to exert major influence on the company, insiders say it is just a matter of time. One of the reasons cited by the new owners is the belligerent existing senior team, which will likely all be asked to resign and may well be brought up on corruption charges. One noted Austrian economist and Presidential candidate, Ron Paul, suggested that this is just one of many hints that restructure and reform is needed. This would also imply that the end of the monopoly/hegemony has already taken place.

The financial team is scrambling with hostile takeovers and many threats to keep the status quo, but so far the rhetoric has not been successful. It is likely that the financial team will be relieved of its duties and conservative alternatives put in their place.

The senior team is being charged with corruption and analysts predict that this hardship will last at least 20 years and will affect the entire company. This will likely cause massive layoffs and result in the largest corporate downsizing in history.

The US Dollar company is a fascist, for profit, institution which should exist by the people for the people and provide for the common good. This had been the case until 1913 when a new financial team was hired to keep the books, but have since run the business into the ground. The press office can be reached at press@whitehouse.gov